I read Donald Miller’s Scary Close book late last fall…and it was one of the best books I’d read in a long time. It was funny and clever and engaging, and all about relationships, my favourite topic. Y’know it’s a good book, when months after it’s been read, it comes back to bite you in …
Stopping the world to listen
“Baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen and try to understand and empathize. I’m not going to leave you in pain. I’m there for you.” Dr. John Gottman, on the key sentiment of successful couples I can remember a few moments where it became clear that he was the one I wanted …
Another way to answer your child’s questions
Today I’m drawing inspiration (forgive the pun) from Calvin and Hobbes and its creator Bill Waterson. Sadly, I don’t have permission from United Press Syndicate to put the strip up on our web page – Hobbes charges a pretty hefty appearance fee. Sorry about that – it’d be awesome to have it up here. …
Rumblin’ and reckonin’
I heard a few stories from a few friends in the last few days (not from clients, btw–I don’t ever tell client stories on the blog): A woman in her early 30’s tells the story of her parents divorcing when she is her teens. Several months after the separation, her dad called the children together …
Big birds in small cages
Sigh…summer is such a beautiful time isn’t it? And with it comes altered schedules…Carolyn’s writing routine is off and she will be returning to regular writing on the blog soon. For now, another beautiful blog by therapist and writer, Sabrina Friesen… I’ve always been a word girl, finding solace in the words of others and …
On Being Loved: both in spite of and because of ourselves
Love is a burning thing. I really think ol’ Johnny Cash was on to something there. When I work with folks and we talk about love, I often mention how good love is–you know, the kind that leaves us feeling full up and just good right down to our toes, that kind of love is …
A letter to Car: Your friends
Dear Carolyn, Life is messy, isn’t it? Exquisitely so, maybe…but exquisitely messy. My marriage to your husband, I think, is a classic example. Even that sentence, sounds odd, doesn’t it? Let me explain. At your service, your love of packing shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child was mentioned several times. Your husband said that you imagined …
Altered Memories or Lying?
When I was in Grade 2, we moved from a house that I loved and a neighbourhood I felt safe in–I loved my school, enjoyed my school, had great friends down the street, loved the beautiful elm trees arching over the street, and loved playing on the stone steps of the grand church nearby. I …
We as witnesses
One of the things i love about being at Bergen and Associates is that it isn’t just a place where I show up to do therapy with the fabulous people who are clients that I get to work with. It is more. So. Much. More. (and that already is a ton) It is also a …
FAQ’s about forgiveness
Seriously, you’re gonna write about forgiveness? You’re gonna make me feel bad for how I angry and upset I am. I already feel bad enough! How dare you! Yeah, I get that. Living in a state of enormous hurt and pain after someone has hurt you, often with anger and resentment, that’s bad enough. But …