Cynicism protects us from being hurt...it also makes it impossible to trust, to lean into joy.

Cynicism and Bermax

We’ve all heard: Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me It’s vulnerable to feel compassion and care towards people who you find out later apparently were the ones who did the damage themselves. When there are mixed stories, and we don’t know who to believe, it gets even more confusing. …

On the anniversary: A letter to myself on my wedding day all those years ago. It's not gonna work out, but you will be okay.

To my younger to-be-divorced-one-day-self on your wedding day

Dear Carolyn-bride, You didn’t know me all those years ago at 22—but you would have known I would be coming one day. I’ve been thinking a lot about you. This is a momentous anniversary of something now gone, and so I’ve been thinking about you more than usual in the last couple of days. Today …

The darkness isn’t always something to be feared…sometimes, it is a cozy place to connect. On blog about safe haven in the cozy darkness on So low down is up date

You will be found

It doesn’t get any darker than this!! There’s an odd relief in knowing it is only brighter from here. Today is my annual “So Low that Down is Up” day…December 21, the day of the longest night. Tomorrow, December 22, is gonna be a wee bit brighter. Today is my favourite day of the year…for …

Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts...program developed out of the research of Dr. Brené Brown

Dare to Lead

Another leadership program? Really? Aren’t there enough floating around out there? Yes, there are a lot. But we need this one.  You need this one. Your team will thank you if you absorb this one. Dare to Lead has a fresh emphasis that is lifegiving for leaders and followers alike. A breath of fresh air …

Of Bird Feeders and Trauma

There was about a year in my life when I was in very close contact with a trauma survivor. Despite the fact that I had known him a long time, it seemed he didn’t trust me. I would ask him, “How was your day?” as part of friendly conversation, he would suggest that I was …

Letter to Dr. Blasey Ford It's terrible having to testify and heartbreaking what happened and the impact on her. My understanding is forever changed...one man's reaction to Dr. Blasey Ford's testimony

Changed: An open letter to Dr. Blasey Ford

Dear Dr. Blasey Ford, Today was a day unlike any other for you. A day you’d avoided for literally decades, and then, with the eyes of the world literally watching on live television, you re-lived the most traumatic moments of your life. I’m shaking a little, with tears in my eyes just imagining what that …

Therapist won't insult you by giving you advice on blog about what therapists do in session. Sharing expertise with the client

Dear client: We don’t give advice

Dear client, When you come in for your first appointment, you may ask a question. I get asked this question a lot. So many clients, when they come for their first appointment give an outline of a very painful situation in their lives and then ask, “What is your advice?” There are different ways people …