Problems become possibilities

I’ve been thinking a lot as we go into the new year about using the challenges of life as an opportunity to be creative, to grow, and learn, and make something even better than was before. Challenges can inspire creativity and options considered that wouldn’t have been otherwise been needed. This thinking started with a …

Experience over memory

I remember reading once that a uncluttered home makes for an uncluttered brain and heart.  A person can feel more present and content when there  is a peaceful feeling when there isn’t extra “stuff” cluttering one’s space. As an encouragement to get rid of things, the author wrote something like: “Getting rid of your grandmother’s fancy teapot …

Faithful…

Another of our therapists, Gail Shaver, is new to the blog today. Gail works a lot with couples.  And a lot of couples come to us in crisis situations because of infidelity.  Gail witnesses the anguish and anxiety results from an affair…and helps couples deal with the resultant carnage.  Believe me, when you have seen …

April 11

April 11th, 2005 was a Monday, too. After months of awkward silence, where I was desperate to understand what was happening under my roof, and hearing almost nothing, he asked me to have a conversation with him that evening. It’s odd when your family looks the same, but the foundation has been rocked, is likely …

FAQ’s about Apologizing

The first of a series on apologies and forgiveness… Even when it is totally obvious that s/he has messed up, my mother/husband/friend/child has huge trouble apologizing.  It drives me crazy.  Why is it so hard to apologize? Apologizing is hard.  Absolutely. Apologizing takes courage, because it puts a person in a vulnerable space to apologize. …

Redemptive Suffering

Sometimes a conference is just a conference. Sometimes, a conference pokes pretty deep. Today–well, I got poked. Deep. I attended the Storyline Conference this week, hosted by Donald Miller.  He has written one of my favourite books, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years…something I wrote about several times almost 3 years ago when I …

Disengagement is the most dangerous way to corrode connection.

The Betrayal of Disengagement

Disengagement…the silent, slippery betrayal. Have you even thought of disengagement as betrayal? We usually think of betrayal in terms of infidelity–affairs–that a partner was unfaithful in engaging in a sexual relationship with another.  Others engage in intimate emotional relationships which may not have sex in the relationship. These relationships have walls where windows should be, and inappropriate …

Infidelity survivor group–Join us?

The raw, savage pain of betrayal by one’s life partner is something that can hardly be witnessed.  Experiencing the pain of knowing that the one who committed his/her life to you was in the arms of another is something that can have a person feeling:   like one is going to literally “lose it”/”go crazy” …