Imagine this, if you can (and if you can remember high school, you can):
Two girlfriends, wired and getting more wound up by the moment, in that high school, hand flapping (picture Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality ) sort of way:
The first one says: I called my new boyfriend, and he didn’t answer the phone! What does this mean?
Her friend says: Oh no. Hmm…I did see him talking to Britney, the new girl in school the other day.
First one: You’re kidding! You think he might be with her, right now?
Friend: Dunno, mebbe.
First one: Come to think of it, he wasn’t home the day before either…THAT time he said he went to 7-11 for a Slurpee “by himself”…a likely story, it seems.
Friend: So, he has been two-timing you, huh?
First one: I can’t believe it. First what’s-his-name, then this guy. Where (said in a plaintive wailing voice) will it end? Am I doomed to a life of cheating guys.
Friend: That’s it. You can’t trust guys. You just can’t.
First one: My life is ruined!!!! (notice the multiple exclamation marks)
Now, of course, this is hyperbole, and certainly not how many adolescent girls would behave, but you understand my point. (And, if you’ve been in high school, you might change the circumstances, but you’ve been in a conversation with that sort of catastrophic tone to it. Just saying.)
The above is what’s known in the counselling business as a “positive feedback loop” that is spiraling/escalating. As one hears the panic and concern of the other, the other springboards higher, and then the response it one of yet another springboard higher, and so on.
Imagine now, that the positive feedback loop isn’t between excessively histrionic adolescents, but between your brain and your body. Your boss comes to you and says: My office. 5 minutes. You and me.
Your heart sinks—you’ve heard the tone and know it’s serious. Your brain feels your heart sinks, and remembers that feeling—the last time you had that feeling, something really really bad happened. Your brain, faster than you can put into words, senses trouble with that sensation. Your body gets the message of trouble, and your stomach roils and turns, your face gets hot, and your heart starts to pound. Your brain feels all the energy and heat, and knows that this feeling is “PANIC”. Once your brain registers “PANIC”, your body has no choice but to respond with a full blown anxiety reaction–an adrenaline rush with increased blood pressure, insulin release, increased muscle tension and a host of other automatic reactions—including the part of the brain that reasons well in a sophisticated fashion begins to decline in function!
Now, if you’re in the woods, a bear is rapidly approaching, this is a perfectly adaptive response! However, too often, this escalating feedback loop happens in a maladaptive way…and at times, unnecessarily…the boss might merely be letting you know she needs to leave town for a few days unexpectedly and needs you to cover for her.
In therapy, a therapist will often spend some time with the client deciding where the best spot is to break that feedback loop…break the cycle, and the reaction doesn’t escalate (Picture the high school friend saying: You know, you should try again in an hour…maybe he just went skateboarding.) Sometimes the opportune spot in the cycle happens with the brain with dealing with the thoughts/feelings and sometimes with the body and it’s reactions (or occasionally both). Body work can include breathing, meditation, prayer, yoga, and a host of relaxation sorts of strategies. Brain work looks at where it learned to read body responses in the way it does, and to remove barriers to dealing with the current situation for what it actually is (as opposed to, “I imagine (in light of my body)…”
The important thing is to break the cycle so as to stop the escalating spin. Often just working with a client to understanding where the cycle “gets traction” is enough to start making a difference. Mindfulness is a powerful way to monitor reactions and then get some control over them.
Sounds hokey? Don’t dismiss the idea too quickly. My experience is that many are not consciously aware of what their body is feeling, and how your brain is interpreting those bodily sensations…an important component of counselling can be just slowing things down to have a person slowly begin to discover their body’s sensations.
Yet more on anxiety in a few days.
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